After I had my second child, I wanted to show my boss I could handle anything. I said yes to coming back too soon and working the overnight shift! I was so beat, I fell down the stairs holding my baby — she spent eight weeks in a body cast. She 8217;s fine now, but that was an excruciating price to pay for not being able to say no.
在我第二个孩子出生以后，我想向老板证明自己能搞定所有事情。于是，我过早地答应了回去上班，而且还是上夜班!这让我累坏了，以至于抱着孩子从楼梯上摔了下来——因此她全身打了八周的石膏。她现在康复了，但是因为不懂得拒绝而付出这样的代价是令人痛苦至极的。
Since then, I 8217;ve trusted that I 8217;m good enough that saying no won 8217;t hurt my prospects. Actually, being direct about what you want — without second-guessing or excuses — shows you value yourself. Power through awkward moments like these and you 8217;ll get to your yes.
从那以后，我一直相信自己足够优秀，因而拒绝一些事并不会影响我的前途。事实上，不带任何揣测或借口，直率地表达内心所求，正能表现出你对自己的珍视。战胜这些难以应付的时刻，你会得到自己的内心所求。
You find the perfect dress for your friend 8217;s bachelorette. Then the saleswoman starts insisting you get this belt and those earrings too.
你选中了一条完美的裙子去参加朋友的单身派对，这时导购小姐便开始抓住你不放，给你推销各式各样的腰带和耳环来搭配。
8220;I love that, but I 8217;m not going to get it today. 8221; The sales assistant is just doing her job — she doesn 8217;t take a no personally and you shouldn 8217;t either. You 8217;re wasting her time by acting like you 8217;redeliberating or putting something on hold just for show. Say no, be lovely about it 8230; and leave.
“我很喜欢它们，但是今天不打算买。”导购员只是在做她的本职工作——她不会把你的拒绝当做针对她个人的，并且你也不应该这么觉得。你假装考虑或者故作迟疑都是在浪费她的时间。你只需友好地拒绝，然后离开。
Mom and Dad invite you on a cruise. You get only two weeks off and think this would be an awful way to spend one of them.
父母邀你一同游轮度假。你只有两周的休息时间，而且觉得要花其中一周和他们在一起实在是个糟糕的主意。
8220;I love you and that 8217;s so generous, but I can 8217;t. How about a weekend visit? 8221; Time with you may be more important to them than the plan. Be quick and sweet, and don 8217;t make up a story. They knew when you were lying at age 8; they 8217;ll know now. P.S. Don 8217;t get guilted! You 8217;re an adult!
“我爱你们，请我去度假实在是太好了，但我没办法去。我周末去看你们怎么样?”对于他们来说，和你在一起的时光，或许比度假计划重要得多。果断贴心地回答，而不要撒谎。你8岁时的谎言就瞒不过他们的眼睛，现在依然如此。另外，别为此心怀内疚!你已经是个大人了!
The Guy You Want to Date says, 8220;Let 8217;s hang Saturday. 8221; At 1 a.m., he finally texts, indicating his interest in, ahem, hanging. Nuh-uh.
你心仪的男神说：“周六一起出去吧。”结果到半夜1点，他终于来短信，暗示他想的……咳咳……不止是出去而已。
Text, 8220;No thanks. 8221; Wait a beat. Then, 8220;But dinner Wednesday? 8221; If you want more, don 8217;t take less for fear he 8217;ll disappear. Forget about jumping like it 8217;s the president calling! You 8217;ll save yourself months of pain by being clear with him and sticking to your decision.
短信回复：”还是不了，谢谢。“等一下，再接着回：”周三一起吃晚饭怎么样?“如果你想要他全心全意，就不能因为害怕失去他而委曲求全。千万不要高兴得跳起来，好像是总统给你打的电话。和他说清楚，并且坚持你的想法，这会使自己免受数月的煎熬。
Your boss asks you to work on Saturday, but your cousin is getting married.
上司让你周六加班，但是你的表亲这周结婚。
8220;I would love to work on that with you, but I have a big family event. What if I stayed late Friday night? 8221; Apologizing or going into an absurd amount of detail seems weak. Be calm and make eye contact and she 8217;ll respect what you 8217;re saying. Then follow up with an alternative solution if you can, so everyone wins.”
我很想跟着你加班，但是我这周家里有件大事。不如我周五加个晚班怎样?“道歉或者解释一大堆荒唐的细枝末节显得太无力。冷静地采用眼神交流，她会尊重你的决定。接着，如果可以的话，提出一个变通的方案，这样就能双赢了。
Your friend has a great idea for a vegan-snack-sample-delivery business, but you do not have thedough.
你的朋友想办一个素食小点心的派送活动，但你并没有这个闲钱。
8220;I just gave to another friend 8217;s charity race, so I 8217;m tapped out. Can I help by making an intro for you instead? 8221; Little white lies can be okay. You don 8217;t have to share details about your finances with friends. Value the work you did to earn your money, and donate only to causes that move you.
“我刚刚捐助了另一位朋友的慈善活动，现在手头有点紧。不如我帮你宣传一下?”小小的善意谎言没有多大问题。你并不需要和朋友公开经济状况的细节。珍惜你辛苦工作挣得的钱，捐助给真正打动你的那些活动。
（编辑：何莹莹）