完全的无保留的直面痛苦，可能是最难做的事。生命的锦缎是由感恩和谦恭织成的，当你面对自己最痛苦的最可怕的经历，坚强的挺过来，你会感受到难以置信的自由。我相信当你直面现实，你会获得力量。
the day my fiancé fell to his death, it started to snow, just like any november day, just like the bottom hadn 8217;t fallen out of my world when he freefell off the roof. his body, when i found it, was lightly covered with snow. it snowed almost every day for the next four months, while i sat on the couch and watched it pile up.
我未婚夫去世的那天，天开始下雪，就仿佛是十一月某个普通的一天，就仿佛当他从房顶上跌下时，我的世界并没有垮塌。当我发现他时，他的身体上上已经薄薄的盖上了一层雪花。 之后的四个月，差不多每个月都在下雪，而我就坐在沙发上，看着雪一点点堆积起来。
one morning, i shuffled downstairs and was startled to see a snowplow clearing my driveway and the bent back of a woman shoveling my walk. i dropped to my knees, crawled through the living room, and back upstairs so those good samaritans would not see me. i was mortified. my first thought was, how would i ever repay them? i didn 8217;t have the strength to brush my hair let alone shovel someone 8217;s walk.
一天早上，我慢吞吞的下楼，却吃惊的发现一台扫雪机正在清扫我的车道，还有一个女人正弯腰铲去走道上的雪。我感到十分羞愧。为了不让外面的好心人看到，我跪在地上，爬着穿过客厅，回到楼上。我首先想到的就是，怎样才能回报他们?我情绪低落得连梳头的力气都没，更别说帮别人铲雪了。
before jon 8217;s death, i took pride in the fact that i rarely asked for help or favors. i defined myself by my competence and independence. so who was i if i was no longer capable and busy? how could i respect myself if all i did was sit on the couch everyday and watch the snow fall?
jon去世之前,我把自己定位成一个独立的，能干的人，我因为很少请求别人的帮助和关心而自豪。如果我不再忙碌，不再能干，那么我是谁?如果我整天蜷在沙发上看着窗外飘落的雪花，我拿什么获得自尊?
learning how to receive the love and support that came my way wasn 8217;t easy. friends cooked for me and i cried because i couldn 8217;t even help them set the table. 8220;i 8217;m not usually this lazy, 8221; i wailed. finally, my friend kathy sat down with me and said, 8220;mary, cooking for you is not a chore. i love you and i want to do it. it makes me feel good to be able to do something for you. 8221;
学习怎样接受别人的爱和帮助并不简单。朋友们为我做饭，我哭了，因为我甚至不能帮他们摆餐具。“我通常不是这样懒惰的”我哀泣道。后来，我朋友kathy坐在我旁边，安慰我说：“mary，为你做饭并不是个负担。我爱你，我很愿意为你做饭，能够帮上忙让我感觉很好。”
over and over, i heard similar sentiments from the people who supported me during those dark days. one very wise man told me, 8220;you are not doing nothing. being fully open to your grief may be the hardest work you will ever do. 8221;
那些帮助我度过人生中的黑暗时刻的人们，一次又一次的用充满感情的话来安慰我。一个很睿智的人告诉过我：“你并不是无所事事，完全的无保留的直面痛苦，可能是最难做的事。”
（实习编辑：高奕飞）