A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, 8220;If I steal a nickel 8217;s worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another 8217;s wife, I am free. 8221;
佛罗里达州的一位读者显然是在个人经历上受过创伤, 他写信来抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分钱的商品, 我就是个贼, 要受到惩罚, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的爱情, 我没事儿。”
This is a prevalent misconception in many people 8217;s minds 8212;that love, like merchandise, can be 8220;stolen 8221;. Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for 8220;alienation of affections 8221;.
这是许多人心目中普遍存在的一种错误观念——爱情, 像商品一样, 可以 “偷走”。实际上，许多州都颁布法令，允许索取“情感转让”赔偿金。
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
但是爱情并不是商品;真情实意不可能买到，卖掉，交换，或者偷走。爱情是志愿的行动，是感情的转向，是个性发挥上的变化。
When a husband or wife is 8220;stolen 8221; by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The 8220;love bandit 8221; was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
当丈夫或妻子被另一个人“偷走”时，那个丈夫或妻子就已经具备了被偷走的条件，事先已经准备接受新的伴侣了。这位“爱匪”不过是取走等人取走、盼人取走的东西。
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children 8220;belonging 8221; to their parents. But nobody 8220;belongs 8221; to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents 8217; trusteeship.
我们往往待人如物。我们甚至说孩子“属于”父母。但是谁也不“属于”谁。人都属于自己和上帝。孩子是托付给父母的，如果父母不善待他们，州政府就有权取消父母对他们的托管身份。
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder 8212;but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that 8220;caused 8221; the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
我们多数人年轻时都有过恋人被某个更有诱惑力、更有吸引力的人夺去的经历。在当时，我们兴许怨恨这位不速之客 8212;但是后来长大了，也就认识到了心上人本来就不属于我们。并不是不速之客“导致了”决裂，而是缺乏真实的关系。
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a 8220;third party 8221;. This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
从表面上看，许多婚姻似乎是因为有了“第三者”才破裂的。然而这是一种心理上的幻觉。另外那个女人，或者另外那个男人，无非是作为借口，用来解除早就不是完好无损的婚姻罢了。
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has 8220;come between 8221; oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others 8212;they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
因失恋而痛苦，因别人“插足”于自己与心上人之间而图报复，是最没有出息、最自作自受的乐。这种事总是歪曲了事实真相，因为谁都不是给别人当俘虏或牺牲品——人都是自由行事的，不论命运是好是坏，都由自己来作主。
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him 8212; and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any 8220;third party 8221; has appeared on the scene.
但是，遭离弃的情人或配偶无法相信她的心上人是自由地背离他的——因而他归咎于插足者心术不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠师、窃贼或破坏家庭的人。然而，从大多数事例看，一个家的破裂，是早在什么“第三者”出现之前就开始了的。
（兼职编辑：杨帆）